4 Stages to Recognize Everything That Glitters Ain’t Gold



You may have heard the saying, “Everything that glitters ain’t gold.” This may be applied to money and opportunities, but it is often used to describe relationships, especially romantic ones.


We know that people will show you one face, but sometimes there can be another one hidden. So, if a guy continues to treat you how he did during the first three months of a relationship well into the 12thmonth, then he is likely the one for you. If he falls off along the way, then he isn’t the one.

Franseau Richards, who I know quite well, outlined it this way:


The first three months is referred to as the infatuation stage. At this point, both people are getting to know each other; the “Good Mornings” and sweet text messages come through regularly. This is the Cinderella Syndrome, which is used to try and sweep you off your feet. The person does everything for you. It’s new.


At the six-month mark, you are getting to know them and their behaviors and patterns. For example, the first time they do something wrong, you will probably dismiss it as okay. But by the second time, you begin to watch things more closely, and by the third time around you realize that this is who they really are. At this stage in the game, the text messages and calls slow down. Seeing each other starts to become limited. This can be compared to buying a new pair of sneakers that you wear often, but after a 6-month period the wear and feel may change, because they are no longer new.


By nine months, the person is comfortable with you and feels that he has you now, so he may stop texting, stop calling and stop sending gifts. This is the stage when you’re waiting by the phone or you’re texting him first. It is in this stage that the game has switched on you. Now you are emotionally attached and needy, and suddenly he has no time for you.


At twelve months: If he remains consistent like he was in the three months, then that person is a keeper; but if his behavior is sporadic or begins to deteriorate then it’s time to move on or “throw him back into the water.”


He may be everything she wants in a man, but now the “curtain” is being pulled back and now she begins to see what is happening behind the scenes. She was initially impressed by what he displayed on stage, but his behind-the-scenes lifestyle showed a different person and now the focus of the woman must change. She now has to begin to divorce herself from the impressive gifts, trips and accolades she was caught up in only months earlier.


These behaviors happen often in relationships and can be discouraging and disheartening. Although it is difficult, ladies are advised to guard their hearts, which means protecting themselves from being manipulated or hurt.


Scripture spells this out in plain language:


“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV, emphasis mine)


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