Life is complicated, and infidelity can impact even the strongest of relationships — we are human after all.
It can happen to anyone (just ask Beyoncé): You think he’s your soul mate, and that nothing — or no one — could ever come between you. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he pulls a Jay-Z and gets a side chick.
The statistics paint a troubling picture. Infidelity is the reason why 37 percent of marriages end (the #1 reason), according to the University of Texas’ Austin Institute for Family Studies. And a survey conducted by their social science researchers revealed that 28 percent of black men reported that they had sex outside of their marriage, compared with 20% of white men and 16% of Hispanic men.
The good news is, the vast majority of men are NOT the cheating type. But what about those who are? What makes them stray? What are the warning signs?
Common Reasons Why Men Stray
Because he can’t resist the attention he gets from other women.
Because the feels his needs are not being met — space, attention, affection, love or intimacy.
Because he wants to have a different sexual experience.
Because he craves excitement and the thrill of it all.
Because he is seeking a way out of the relationship.
Because he feels you two emotionally incompatible
The X Factor for Straying: Because It Could Be in His DNA
Scientists as the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, one of Europe’s leading medical research universities, uncovered a direct link between a man’s DNA and his likelihood of having side chick. Two out of every five men carry a gene variant called an allele that has been linked to martial problems.
Aside from the so-called cheating gene, his aversion to monogamy could be hereditary. Researchers at the University of Nevada, Reno found that that After surveying a group of young adults, researchers found that individuals who had a parent cheat were twice as likely to have cheated than those whose parents remained faithful.
Some men are simply incapable of monogamy, and cheating is their way of life for them.
Four Signs That He May Have Someone Else
The fear of “the other woman” can cause some women to go into paranoid mode, over-analyzing mood swing, every missed call or little change they notice in their man. Although the following signs don’t necessarily mean he’s cheating, they are some things to look out for.
He’s let your calls go to voice mail. This happening regularly may be a cause for concern.
He’s been having mood swings lately. Although men also have their days, a lot of ups and down could mean he’s hiding a side chick.
He’s now concerned about his appearance. If he was never overly focused on his clothes or physique, but suddenly seems be be into clothes or hitting the gym hard, he could be trying look good for “her.”
He loses his desire for intimacy. Stress can cause almost anyone suffers from sex slumps, but if he was once insatiable but now shows little interest, there’s a chance his mind and body is somewhere else.
Is He The Cheating Type?
So, what type of man is likely to have a side chick? It depends. They come in all shapes and sizes. But there are certain common characteristics that many cheaters share.
He’s hooked on drama. If he seems bored by your happy, stable relationship, and prefers taking you on an emotional roller coaster ride and seems almost addicted to drama, it’s a bad sign.
He’s obviously unhappy. If he is brutally honest about being unhappy in the relationship and mas expressed a desire to end it, look out! Most men who are very satisfied in their relationship and whose needs are being met have no desire to cheat.
He doesn’t want to feel alone. Some men who cheat have a deep-seeded fear abandonment and seek out another relationship as a security blanket against emotional and physical loneliness.
4. He has a tendency to be opportunistic and impulsive. Some men are very calculating and cunning about cheating, and are more likely to cheat when opportunity presents itself.
What to Do If You Find Out He Had a Side Chick
It’s probably best to talk things over, then emotionally let it go, one way or another.
Once you’ve addressed his hurtful actions, the next step is communicating openly and honestly about boundaries in your relationship. (For example, do you consider flirting as a form of cheating?) Then, make what is and is not acceptable behavior crystal clear — so there will be no confusion about whether he’s crossed the line.
After you’ve put it all out there, you have to make a decision either trust your man and work on the relationship, or to move on (if you have a valid reason not to trust him again).
You might decide to stick around, but it would be completely justified if you choose to end things. Just as there many different types of relationships, there are many kinds of infidelity. In some cases, the motive or frequency of side chick relationships can matter lot more than the cheating itself.
The bottom line is, it’s your decision how you want to handle things. No matter what you settle on, just remember, it isn’t your fault.
Remember, life is far too short to be with someone who makes you feel less than the queen you are!
Dealing With the Side Chick Who Won’t Leave Your Man Alone
Don’t miss Tunya Griffin’s online class, “Dealing With the Side Chick Who Won’t Leave Your Man Alone” on February 29, 2020 at Noon.
It will cover everything you need to know if you find out your man has another woman.
Don’t miss out on this chance to heal and fix your life!